It has been almost a year now since he has passed away, and not a day has gone by the he has not been on my mind. The way that he passed was so unfair, he was only sixteen. If I could take back all the terrible things I said to him the last time we spoke I would, but I never knew that it would be the last time we would ever talk. With that being said, if I could talk to anyone in the world I would like to talk to Joey Fonseca just one last time. I would need hours to talk to Joey just to be able to bring him back up to date on everything that is happening, to be able to tell him how much everyone misses him, and also to be able to apologize to him appropriately. The thought of being able to hear Joey’s voice just one more time is crazy to me, but for it to actually happen would be more than overwhelming. What also would be overwhelming would be trying to update Joey on what has happened since he has passed away. I would probably start off by letting him know that to the day he has never been forgotten and he never will be. His family would be the first subject that I made sure to touch on, letting him know how strong his mother, father, and sister have been. I’d also let him know that his father is the strongest and most inspirational man I know. I am sure he would be pleased to hear about how after he passed away the Varsity Softball Team made sweat bands (which we called “Joey Bands”) and wrote “Joey #4” on them. As a team we passed them out to the baseball team and to Joey’s family too. We all made a promise to wear them in every game we played, in memory of him. Another thing I would love to tell Joey about is the numerous memorials that were placed throughout the Kempsville. Places such as the actual tree that the car he was in hit, his grave site, and at the Kempsville Recreation Fields. On the actual fields Joey played on as a child was a plaque hung with his “trade mark” JF4. I think once I was able to tell Joey the many ways people have remembered him and how his family was doing he would be very excited. While Joey and I were talking about all the memorials it would be the perfect time to tell him about how much all his friends miss him. It is no secret that Joey is definitely missed, but I think he would be shocked by how many people in the community do miss him. While I talked to Joey I would reminisce on the day that it all happened. We would talk about how I drove down the neighborhood streets seeing kids and adults crying on one another’s shoulders. Everyone was in disbelief. I would tell him about how people brought flowers, food, and money to his family, knowing that none of it would ease the pain of losing a child but hoping that it would show they cared. Now, almost a year later, people constantly stop by the Fonseca’s, or stop by Joey’s tree to leave flowers, notes, and pictures. He would know how much we all miss him and how bringing him back would be absolutely wonderful. The thing I would look most forward to while talking to Joey would be having an opportunity to apologize. I have learned from Joey’s tragedy that a person should never say anything they do not mean or would not want to take back because it is never know when the last time the two will talk. When it comes to apologizing I think it would take a lot of explaining for him to realize I never meant a thing I said, but he would understand. I knew Joey for four and a half years. We went from best friends, to more than friends, to not friends at all so any little argument we had, in my mind, was no big deal. Until one night, it was very late and my phone kept ringing. It was Joey, but he was prank calling me. I was tired and fed up and finally I snapped on the phone. I yelled at Joe and said things such as, “I hate you” and “I wish you would never talk to me again” without even thinking. Days went by and Joe and I never really picked up the pieces to our friendship. The fact we never really cleared the air made me upset, but in my mind I thought, “Well you cannot please everyone,” so I just went on with my life. Months passed by and suddenly my world was turned upside down. Joey was killed in a drunk-driving accident. If losing one of my best friends was not enough, I lost him when we were not on good terms. Remembering those last words I ever said to him were definitely not the ones I would have chosen as my “goodbye”, if only I had known. If I had the opportunity to explain to Joe why I said what I did and properly apologize it would probably take hours but that would be okay with me just to get my point across. I would definitely make sure he knew that I never meant what I said to him. We would talk for hours about our countless memories from summer bike rides to the shopping center, to the constant debates on which sport was better, baseball or softball. Laughing for hours about the Halloween of our eighth grade year when we set off fire crackers right in front of a police officer and had to run and hide those were the days that I miss. After warming him up and reminding him that I miss him more than anything in this world I would probably proceed to explain to him about what happened at the viewing. I would let him know that just the site of seeing him in the casket sent me on a downward spiral. Next, I would ask Joey if he heard me apologize to him at the viewing when I had Mr. Grant (a close family friend, and a pastor at a local church) take me up to the casket to pray and apologize to Joey. I trust that he heard me but the conformation from him would be such a satisfying feeling. I think the most important thing that would come from this conversation would just to be able to hear Joey say to me that he forgave me and accepted my apology. Though what I said to Joey definitely back fired on me, and damaged me as a person it also taught me a valuable life lesson. What I said definitely haunts me and I will never forget it nor forgive myself, but in the end it made me a better person. After multiple hours on the phone with Joey, I think my point would have finally been conveyed to Joey. He and I would finally be at peace with everything that has happened in this past year. I learned that life is too short to be anything but kind to those who you love, and to never take any friendship or relationship for granted. He would finally know everything going on in Kempsville with his friends and family, he would know how much we all miss him, and finally Joey would know that I never meant a word I said to him that final night we talked on the phone.
The thought of being able to hear Joey’s voice just one more time is crazy to me, but for it to actually happen would be more than overwhelming. What also would be overwhelming would be trying to update Joey on what has happened since he has passed away. I would probably start off by letting him know that to the day he has never been forgotten and he never will be. His family would be the first subject that I made sure to touch on, letting him know how strong his mother, father, and sister have been. I’d also let him know that his father is the strongest and most inspirational man I know. I am sure he would be pleased to hear about how after he passed away the Varsity Softball Team made sweat bands (which we called “Joey Bands”) and wrote “Joey #4” on them. As a team we passed them out to the baseball team and to Joey’s family too. We all made a promise to wear them in every game we played, in memory of him. Another thing I would love to tell Joey about is the numerous memorials that were placed throughout the Kempsville. Places such as the actual tree that the car he was in hit, his grave site, and at the Kempsville Recreation Fields. On the actual fields Joey played on as a child was a plaque hung with his “trade mark” JF4. I think once I was able to tell Joey the many ways people have remembered him and how his family was doing he would be very excited. While Joey and I were talking about all the memorials it would be the perfect time to tell him about how much all his friends miss him.
It is no secret that Joey is definitely missed, but I think he would be shocked by how many people in the community do miss him. While I talked to Joey I would reminisce on the day that it all happened. We would talk about how I drove down the neighborhood streets seeing kids and adults crying on one another’s shoulders. Everyone was in disbelief. I would tell him about how people brought flowers, food, and money to his family, knowing that none of it would ease the pain of losing a child but hoping that it would show they cared. Now, almost a year later, people constantly stop by the Fonseca’s, or stop by Joey’s tree to leave flowers, notes, and pictures. He would know how much we all miss him and how bringing him back would be absolutely wonderful. The thing I would look most forward to while talking to Joey would be having an opportunity to apologize.
I have learned from Joey’s tragedy that a person should never say anything they do not mean or would not want to take back because it is never know when the last time the two will talk. When it comes to apologizing I think it would take a lot of explaining for him to realize I never meant a thing I said, but he would understand. I knew Joey for four and a half years. We went from best friends, to more than friends, to not friends at all so any little argument we had, in my mind, was no big deal. Until one night, it was very late and my phone kept ringing. It was Joey, but he was prank calling me. I was tired and fed up and finally I snapped on the phone. I yelled at Joe and said things such as, “I hate you” and “I wish you would never talk to me again” without even thinking. Days went by and Joe and I never really picked up the pieces to our friendship. The fact we never really cleared the air made me upset, but in my mind I thought, “Well you cannot please everyone,” so I just went on with my life. Months passed by and suddenly my world was turned upside down. Joey was killed in a drunk-driving accident. If losing one of my best friends was not enough, I lost him when we were not on good terms. Remembering those last words I ever said to him were definitely not the ones I would have chosen as my “goodbye”, if only I had known. If I had the opportunity to explain to Joe why I said what I did and properly apologize it would probably take hours but that would be okay with me just to get my point across. I would definitely make sure he knew that I never meant what I said to him. We would talk for hours about our countless memories from summer bike rides to the shopping center, to the constant debates on which sport was better, baseball or softball. Laughing for hours about the Halloween of our eighth grade year when we set off fire crackers right in front of a police officer and had to run and hide those were the days that I miss. After warming him up and reminding him that I miss him more than anything in this world I would probably proceed to explain to him about what happened at the viewing. I would let him know that just the site of seeing him in the casket sent me on a downward spiral. Next, I would ask Joey if he heard me apologize to him at the viewing when I had Mr. Grant (a close family friend, and a pastor at a local church) take me up to the casket to pray and apologize to Joey. I trust that he heard me but the conformation from him would be such a satisfying feeling. I think the most important thing that would come from this conversation would just to be able to hear Joey say to me that he forgave me and accepted my apology. Though what I said to Joey definitely back fired on me, and damaged me as a person it also taught me a valuable life lesson.
What I said definitely haunts me and I will never forget it nor forgive myself, but in the end it made me a better person. After multiple hours on the phone with Joey, I think my point would have finally been conveyed to Joey. He and I would finally be at peace with everything that has happened in this past year. I learned that life is too short to be anything but kind to those who you love, and to never take any friendship or relationship for granted. He would finally know everything going on in Kempsville with his friends and family, he would know how much we all miss him, and finally Joey would know that I never meant a word I said to him that final night we talked on the phone.